Going through an Illinois divorce can be quite a lengthy process. First, you made the decision to part ways with your spouse, either mutually or on a more one-sided basis. You were then thrown into the legal process of creating your divorce agreement or having a judge make decisions for you. You likely discussed how your property will be divided, how much money one spouse will pay the other until you both get afloat, and which spouse will be the primary parent for your kids, if applicable. These are only three of the many areas that will be discussed throughout the legal process, and in many cases, it can take months, if not a year or more, to have all of the details nailed down.

Now that you and your spouse, or the court, have come to an agreement in all of the areas of your divorce, you may feel like you can finally breathe a sigh of relief. There will be no more attorney meetings, ongoing court dates, or uncomfortable conversations to have with your former spouse about the details of your impending divorce. While you may feel like you are finally over the large obstacle that is a divorce, there are still a number of considerations that must be made before your marriage is finally legally dissolved in the eyes of the law

If you and your spouse have decided to file for divorce, you have made it past the first hurdle in the process. Coming to the realization that divorce is best for you and your spouse is no easy task and it can often take months, or even years, of self-realization and difficult conversations with each other. Deciding to file for divorce creates a new relationship dynamic that you have likely never experienced. If you and your spouse have children, there are additional issues that need resolving, which can also further complicate matters. When looking ahead to the future, you may be on your own for the first time in years, including making crucial decisions regarding who will represent you throughout the legal process.

Many people have looked at sweet, elderly couples and romanticized their decades-long marriages, lamenting a social era that is often said to no longer exist. If you were to ask someone if they thought the divorce rate was increasing or decreasing in the United States, what do you think they would say? Many people would likely say the divorce rate has been increasing for years when in reality, it is the opposite. Data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) shows that the national divorce rate has decreased from a rate of four out of every 1,000 couples in 2000 to only 2.9 out of every 1,000 couples in 2018. Interestingly enough, when you look at the divorce rates for the different age groups, the groups whose divorce rates are growing the quickest are adults over the age of 50. In fact, the Pew Research Center reported that the divorce rate doubled for adults over the age of 50 and roughly tripled for adults over the age of 65 between 1990 and 2015.

When it comes down to it, divorce is an emotionally stressful process and will be difficult at any age. However, when you get a divorce later in life, there are certain issues that you should pay extra attention to that a younger person may not necessarily have as high on their list of priorities, such as retirement accounts and spousal support. Getting a divorce after the age of 50 also often means there are more property and/or debt issues that must be taken care of before the divorce can be settled. In many cases, a late-in-life divorce, or a “gray divorce,” as they have been dubbed, can become a headache of a legal mess that is best cleaned up by an Illinois divorce attorney who is knowledgeable in the issues that may present in a gray divorce.

Why Are Gray Divorces Becoming More Common?

There have been many theories as to why gray divorces have been increasing in rate in recent years. Many individuals who get divorced when they are over the age of 50 have been married for decades and in some cases, more than half of their lives. It can be hard for some people to grasp why a person would want to leave a relationship after so many years, but researchers have found a couple of common themes:

Every couple has an argument every now and again. Maybe you did not put the dishes away like you said you were going to do, or maybe your spouse forgot to pack the kids’ lunches like they were supposed to. Little things like that can pop up from time to time, but when those little problems keep coming up more often and lead to bigger and bigger fights, it may be time to consider ending the marriage. Reactions to the idea of a divorce can vary depending on the person, but you should have a pretty good grasp of the kind of personality your spouse has and how they are likely to react. 

For some people who have been in troubled or unhappy marriages, getting a divorce can seem like a breath of fresh air. However, that is not to say that those getting a divorce have it easy. In many cases, these couples end up going through difficult, contested divorces that can put them at the mercy of the court system and each other. Any divorce can become complicated fairly easily, which is why hiring a professional is nearly always recommended. If you are dealing with a contested divorce, enlisting the help of an Illinois divorce lawyer who has experience dealing with contested and complex divorce cases could benefit you greatly.

Leading Up to the Discovery Process

In today’s world, the default for most divorce cases is to utilize some form of alternative dispute resolution, such as mediation or collaborative law to complete the divorce, rather than litigating the case in the courtroom. Most of the time, litigated divorces are only used when there are special circumstances involved that would make another method inappropriate, such as if domestic violence was present in the household.

Divorce is typically not something that most people want to think about. After all, many divorces do not end on a high note, and they can end up turning out to be one of the most stressful life events that people go through. Yet, divorces do take place, and life goes on, though several different aspects of a person’s life can be affected. Without proper preparation and guidance, a person’s social, emotional, financial, and mental health can be affected, along with their future well-being.

The fact of the matter is, there are things that you should and should not do when getting a divorce in Illinois. There are many mistakes that you can make during your divorce, but a knowledgeable Illinois divorce lawyer will be able to help you anticipate these errors and prevent them from being made. Here are a few common divorce mistakes you will want to avoid:

Choosing the Wrong Type of Divorce for Your Situation

Contrary to what many people may think, there is more than one way to get divorced from your spouse. When you think of the word divorce, you likely think of a litigated divorce, or a more “traditional” divorce in which disputes are resolved inside the courtroom. While this is still an option in Illinois, it is typically only used as a last resort or in situations with extenuating circumstances. The state of Illinois highly encourages you and your spouse to work together with one another to settle the issues pertaining to your divorce because the outcomes tend to be better. Both mediated and collaborative divorces offer benefits that a litigated divorce does not.