Top Tips to Help During Your Divorce from a Narcissistic Spouse

 Posted on March 19, 2020 in Divorce

Many times, people will nonchalantly throw around the term “narcissist” to mean a person who thinks they are the greatest. While this is one component of narcissism, it is actually a mental disorder classified by an inflated ego and a serious lack of empathy. Being married to a narcissist can be trying, but getting divorced from one is an entirely different ballgame. In many divorces, the couple can come to an agreement on some or most things with minimal involvement from attorneys or the court system. In a divorce involving a narcissist, every step of the divorce is dragged out and complicated. If you are going through a divorce with a narcissistic spouse, here are a few helpful tips to get you through the process:

Keep Copies and Records of Everything

When you are divorcing a narcissist, they will often try to twist the story around for their own benefit. They might even flat out lie to get what they want. If you do not have any proof of what was truly said or done, it will just become a game of “he said, she said.” The best way to combat your narcissistic spouse’s tendencies to change the story to start keeping copies of everything and recording conversations in any way you can.

Set Boundaries For Yourself and Have a Plan

Being a narcissist, your spouse likely does not respect or understand boundaries. It is important for your own sanity to set specific boundaries, but not try to change your spouse’s behaviors to fit into those boundaries. For example, setting a boundary that all communication must be through written forms such as text or email is a good rule if your spouse has a tendency to lie.

You should also be sure to have a plan going into the divorce. Your spouse will try to make everything a big fight, but you should be aware of this. If you want to make things as simple as possible for yourself, pick and choose your battles. If your spouse is arguing over something trivial such as who gets to keep the vacation home, let him have it as long as you get to keep the family home.

Remember Your Own Wellbeing

Divorcing a narcissistic spouse can be extremely taxing. Even though you are doing your best to keep the peace, there is likely to be some sort of argument or disagreement every day. All of this contention can take its toll on you eventually. It is always a good idea for divorcing spouses to seek help from a therapist, but it can be especially beneficial for those divorcing a narcissistic spouse. You should also remember to take time to destress every day, even if it is something as simple as having a cup of coffee by yourself in the mornings.

Hire a Highly-Skilled Elmhurst, IL Divorce Attorney

If you are going through a divorce with a narcissistic spouse, you know how demanding, stressful and emotionally draining it can be. While the only way out is to fight until the end, you do not have to do it alone. You should hire a skilled DuPage County divorce lawyer who can help you stand your ground. At Weiss-Kunz & Oliver, LLC, we can help you through your divorce with your narcissistic spouse. Our attorneys have a successful track record of helping clients through extremely complex divorces and are here to help you. Call our office today at 312-605-4041 to set up a consultation.

Sources:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/tech-support/201605/13-essential-tips-if-you-are-divorcing-narcissist

https://www.mydomaine.com/surviving-emotionally-while-divorcing-a-narcissist-1102458

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/8-simple-rules-when-divorcing-a-narcissist_b_5a31c967e4b0b73dde46aa0a