Going through a divorce is never an easy task regardless of how you look at it or approach it. You may be second-guessing your decision and grieving the loss of your spouse, or you may find yourself in the middle of a legal battle. Even in an amicable divorce, the process can be emotionally devastating, and a contentious marriage can lead to months or even years spent arguing over legal decisions. The process becomes even more complex for spouses who are victims of an abusive relationship. The codependence that abusive relationships can create, along with the understanding that the marriage is unhealthy, can make the divorce even more confusing. The concerns can quickly escalate from “Am I doing the right thing?” to “Am I safe to file for divorce?”. For those in an abusive marriage, there are additional considerations that must be made in order to ensure that each spouse is safe and that the divorce agreement is fair to both spouses.

Identifying the Different Forms of Abuse

Many people who are in abusive relationships are unsure if what they are experiencing is truly considered abuse. While physical abuse can occur, there are other actions that are considered abusive behavior and that can keep people stuck in toxic relationships. The following are different forms of abuse and their warning signs:

All parents have certain rights when it comes to their children, including unmarried fathers. In the past, courts typically favored mothers when it came to divorce and child custody battles, but as parental roles have modernized, the Illinois court system now makes decisions in the best interests of the child. The court typically leans toward keeping both parents in the child’s life and maintaining their parent-child relationships, unless one proves to be a danger to the child in some way. 

As a parent, your ability to spend time with your child may seem like a given, rather than a legal right. While all parents are granted these rights at the child’s birth, they are only enforceable to those who are legally recognized as the child’s father. For unmarried fathers, the need to have your role as a father legally established may not seem urgent, though the failure to do so can actually lead to legal, financial, and emotional issues as time goes on. That is why it is important to understand what paternity means from a legal standpoint for both the child and his or her father. 

When you imagine getting divorced, you likely picture two spouses arguing in court under the watchful eye of a judge. Perhaps they cannot come to a decision about child custody, or maybe they are fighting over who will keep the family home. Movies and reality TV shows have sensationalized what divorce really looks like and what the legal process entails. While some divorces can lead to a screaming match in a courtroom, most divorce agreements are created by both spouses behind closed doors.

Most couples do not realize what the Illinois divorce process truly involves until they are thrown into the middle of it. Divorce is never easy, physically or emotionally, and the division of your family is bound to take a toll. While you may never be able to fully prepare yourself for the emotional challenges that will undoubtedly come with your ending marriage, having an understanding of what the legal process includes can make you feel more in control of a major life event that you likely never expected. 

Going through an Illinois divorce can be quite a lengthy process. First, you made the decision to part ways with your spouse, either mutually or on a more one-sided basis. You were then thrown into the legal process of creating your divorce agreement or having a judge make decisions for you. You likely discussed how your property will be divided, how much money one spouse will pay the other until you both get afloat, and which spouse will be the primary parent for your kids, if applicable. These are only three of the many areas that will be discussed throughout the legal process, and in many cases, it can take months, if not a year or more, to have all of the details nailed down.

Now that you and your spouse, or the court, have come to an agreement in all of the areas of your divorce, you may feel like you can finally breathe a sigh of relief. There will be no more attorney meetings, ongoing court dates, or uncomfortable conversations to have with your former spouse about the details of your impending divorce. While you may feel like you are finally over the large obstacle that is a divorce, there are still a number of considerations that must be made before your marriage is finally legally dissolved in the eyes of the law

If you and your spouse have decided to file for divorce, you have made it past the first hurdle in the process. Coming to the realization that divorce is best for you and your spouse is no easy task and it can often take months, or even years, of self-realization and difficult conversations with each other. Deciding to file for divorce creates a new relationship dynamic that you have likely never experienced. If you and your spouse have children, there are additional issues that need resolving, which can also further complicate matters. When looking ahead to the future, you may be on your own for the first time in years, including making crucial decisions regarding who will represent you throughout the legal process.