Every couple has an argument every now and again. Maybe you did not put the dishes away like you said you were going to do, or maybe your spouse forgot to pack the kids’ lunches like they were supposed to. Little things like that can pop up from time to time, but when those little problems keep coming up more often and lead to bigger and bigger fights, it may be time to consider ending the marriage. Reactions to the idea of a divorce can vary depending on the person, but you should have a pretty good grasp of the kind of personality your spouse has and how they are likely to react. 

For some people who have been in troubled or unhappy marriages, getting a divorce can seem like a breath of fresh air. However, that is not to say that those getting a divorce have it easy. In many cases, these couples end up going through difficult, contested divorces that can put them at the mercy of the court system and each other. Any divorce can become complicated fairly easily, which is why hiring a professional is nearly always recommended. If you are dealing with a contested divorce, enlisting the help of an Illinois divorce lawyer who has experience dealing with contested and complex divorce cases could benefit you greatly.

Leading Up to the Discovery Process

In today’s world, the default for most divorce cases is to utilize some form of alternative dispute resolution, such as mediation or collaborative law to complete the divorce, rather than litigating the case in the courtroom. Most of the time, litigated divorces are only used when there are special circumstances involved that would make another method inappropriate, such as if domestic violence was present in the household.

Divorce is typically not something that most people want to think about. After all, many divorces do not end on a high note, and they can end up turning out to be one of the most stressful life events that people go through. Yet, divorces do take place, and life goes on, though several different aspects of a person’s life can be affected. Without proper preparation and guidance, a person’s social, emotional, financial, and mental health can be affected, along with their future well-being.

The fact of the matter is, there are things that you should and should not do when getting a divorce in Illinois. There are many mistakes that you can make during your divorce, but a knowledgeable Illinois divorce lawyer will be able to help you anticipate these errors and prevent them from being made. Here are a few common divorce mistakes you will want to avoid:

Choosing the Wrong Type of Divorce for Your Situation

Contrary to what many people may think, there is more than one way to get divorced from your spouse. When you think of the word divorce, you likely think of a litigated divorce, or a more “traditional” divorce in which disputes are resolved inside the courtroom. While this is still an option in Illinois, it is typically only used as a last resort or in situations with extenuating circumstances. The state of Illinois highly encourages you and your spouse to work together with one another to settle the issues pertaining to your divorce because the outcomes tend to be better. Both mediated and collaborative divorces offer benefits that a litigated divorce does not.

Everyone knows how much of an emotional and life-changing event a divorce can be. What many people do not realize is that getting a divorce can also have a major impact on your financial health too, both during and after the divorce. Many studies have been conducted and various groups of couples from many demographics and backgrounds have been observed to determine the differences in financial health before and after the divorce process. Though each divorce is going to be different because each couple’s situation is different, the general consensus is that divorce can majorly impact your finances and even lower your standard of living after everything is said and done.

Fortunately, this fact does not have to just be taken at face value. There are certain things that you can do to help protect your finances during your Illinois divorce, which will, in turn, help you protect your financial health after the divorce is over with and the decree is signed by the judge and both you and your spouse. Divorce can get complicated quickly, especially if there are complicated financial issues involved, which is why it is recommended that you hire an Illinois divorce lawyer to help you with the divorce process.

How Can Divorce Impact My Finances?

If you are not careful and make good decisions while you are going through your divorce, you could end up in a bad situation after the fact, though there may only be so much you can do. According to Bloomberg, divorce is going to lower your standard of living no matter what. However, your age when you get divorced and your gender both have an impact on how much your standard of living is affected after a divorce. Both men and women who divorce after the age of 50 will see their standard of living decrease much more than men and women who divorce when they are younger.

Breaking the news to your spouse that you want a divorce can be a very daunting and stressful task, but it is something that is unavoidable. You may wonder how the situation will play out, how the conversation will go or how your spouse will react. Will they break down and begin to cry in desperation or will they become angry and hurt, storming out of the house? Whatever their reaction to the news of your desire to separate, there is likely to be some level of resistance from your spouse. This resistance could vary from simply needing a little nudge in the right direction to downright refusing to cooperate at all.

Divorce is notorious for being an unpleasant, nasty, and heartbreaking experience for everyone involved. People can suffer from the stress of the divorce and children can end up bearing the brunt of the trauma. Multiple studies have come to the same conclusion that it is not divorce itself that causes lasting issues for children of divorce, but rather the exposure to their parents’ conflicts and arguments that cause emotional trauma. Fortunately, most people realize what is at stake when faced with the dilemma of divorce and are willing to somewhat cooperate for the sake of preserving the family. Even if your spouse seems argumentative or combative, they can usually be persuaded to agree to a collaborative divorce once they understand the benefits.

What Is a Collaborative Divorce?

Once you have made the decision to end your marriage, you then are faced with the task of determining how you will go about getting that divorce. One method of divorce that is becoming more common and increasingly popular is collaborative divorce. In the simplest terms, a collaborative divorce is a divorce that occurs when a couple agrees to settle their divorce outside of the court system. However, for it to be a true collaborative divorce, there are certain elements that must be present and certain guidelines that should be followed to make it authentic. A collaborative divorce requires both spouses to be willing to work together in a productive, rather than a destructive manner, along with help from a team of various professionals ranging from child psychologists and divorce coaches to financial advisers and estate planners.

It is a bittersweet and painful situation to be in when you make the personal decision to end your marriage. Once you have made the decision that you no longer want to be married to or in a relationship with your significant other, it is likely that there have been issues present in your marriage for months or even years that were never resolved. Even just working up the courage to finally bring up or ask for a divorce can be a huge step for some people.

There is almost always going to be some degree of resistance from the other spouse when the topic of divorce is brought up; this is one of the real-life situations that Hollywood actually gets right most times. Think of all of the films and television shows you have seen that involve a breakup or a divorce. Do you ever remember seeing a scene where one spouse says, “I think we should get a divorce,” while the other one responds, “Yes, I agree with you,” in a level-headed manner? The chances of that are slim to none.

In reality, the non-asking spouse is likely to put up some sort of resistance to the suggestion of divorce. However, not everyone reacts to this type of rejection in the same way. Contention from a spouse can manifest in a variety of ways, from typical sadness and reluctance to fighting tooth and nail and being difficult for the sake of being difficult. Whatever the situation, divorcing a contentious spouse can be an extremely draining process that affects the entire family and can even affect you even after the fact. Hiring a divorce attorney who is trained to handle high-conflict divorces can be extremely beneficial throughout your divorce.