It is a bittersweet and painful situation to be in when you make the personal decision to end your marriage. Once you have made the decision that you no longer want to be married to or in a relationship with your significant other, it is likely that there have been issues present in your marriage for months or even years that were never resolved. Even just working up the courage to finally bring up or ask for a divorce can be a huge step for some people.

There is almost always going to be some degree of resistance from the other spouse when the topic of divorce is brought up; this is one of the real-life situations that Hollywood actually gets right most times. Think of all of the films and television shows you have seen that involve a breakup or a divorce. Do you ever remember seeing a scene where one spouse says, “I think we should get a divorce,” while the other one responds, “Yes, I agree with you,” in a level-headed manner? The chances of that are slim to none.

In reality, the non-asking spouse is likely to put up some sort of resistance to the suggestion of divorce. However, not everyone reacts to this type of rejection in the same way. Contention from a spouse can manifest in a variety of ways, from typical sadness and reluctance to fighting tooth and nail and being difficult for the sake of being difficult. Whatever the situation, divorcing a contentious spouse can be an extremely draining process that affects the entire family and can even affect you even after the fact. Hiring a divorce attorney who is trained to handle high-conflict divorces can be extremely beneficial throughout your divorce.

In most divorce cases today, the courts urge the couple to attempt to work together to come to an agreement on the issues pertaining to the divorce before they take the issues to trial. While there are many reasons for this, the biggest reason is that giving both parties negotiating power also means they are more likely to follow certain orders after the divorce is finalized. For many couples, no court intervention is needed because they are able to negotiate a divorce agreement with the help of their attorneys or a mediator. However, some cases have circumstances in which you may need the help of the court to complete your divorce.

One of those circumstances is the presence of domestic violence in the home. Domestic violence is one of the most complicated social and societal issues that exists throughout the United States. According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, more than 12 million men and women experience some form of domestic violence each year. Most people think of domestic violence as simply being an act of violence, but for most perpetrators, it is more about holding power over the victim. Domestic violence is a serious issue and it can also have an extremely negative effect on your divorce.

What Is Domestic Violence?

Domestic violence or abuse is a term that encompasses a variety of harmful and hurtful behaviors and can be found in families from many different racial, educational, religious, and socioeconomic backgrounds. Many people tend to focus on the violent aspect of domestic abuse, but the main and most important component of domestic violence and domestic abuse is control. A person does not just commit acts of domestic violence or abuse every once in a while because they just “lose their temper” sometimes. A person commits acts of domestic violence and abuse to attempt to gain control over the victim through acts of guilt, shame, fear, and intimidation.

Compared to many other countries in the world, the United States is fairly young, with rather unique founding principles. Though the U.S. is well known for certain freedoms such as gun ownership, the country also has a reputation for being a good place to live if you want to be a business owner. According to the U.S. Small Business Administration, there were around 30.7 million small businesses owned and operated in the country in 2019.

Owning a small business can be extremely fulfilling, especially if it is a family-run business. However, owning a business can also pose some unique issues during a divorce. Your business is likely one of your biggest and most valuable assets, not to mention your biggest or perhaps even your only source of income. Needless to say, getting divorced when you own a business puts much more than just your business at risk.

How Will Divorce Affect My Business?

What happens at home stays at home, right? Not necessarily. If you own a business and you file for divorce, there is a chance it could follow you back to your workplace. Happily married couples rarely think about what they are going to do in the event that they get a divorce, but when you are a business owner, this is one of the best things you could do. Getting a divorce when you own a business not only puts much stress on you and your spouse and adds to the divorce process, but it can also actually affect the business itself.

In the grand scheme of things, social media has not been around for very long, but it has had a tremendous effect on our lives in the time that it has been present. In 1997, the first official social media website, SixDegrees, launched, changing the way humans interact with one another forever. Since then, thousands of social media websites and apps have been created to help people communicate and connect with one another.

Today, social media is a normal part of many lives across the globe. According to data compiled by Hootsuite, a social media marketing company, about 70 percent of the American population is active on social media. However, studies are continually taking place on the effects of social media on the relationships between people and how social media can affect mood, among other things. One of the areas researchers have particularly been interested in has been how social media affects marriage and divorce.

Social Media as a Divorce Contributor

Social media is defined as any website or app that allows people to connect and communicate by sharing media, writing statuses, posting photos, sharing links, or communicating in another way. Popular social media apps include Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, LinkedIn, Tumblr, Skype, Reddit, Pinterest, TikTok, and many more.

In the United States, divorce is not uncommon. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), an estimated 22 percent of marriages dissolve before they celebrate their fifth anniversary and that number increases by the 20-year mark when an estimated 53 percent of all first marriages have ended. People get divorced for all kinds of reasons, but whatever the reason, the divorce is still likely to be riddled with tension, stress, and emotion.

Even if you and your spouse communicated well during your marriage, things will likely be much different during the divorce process. A peaceful divorce is possible, but effective communication is key to making that work. Here are a few tips to help you improve your communication with your spouse during your Illinois divorce:

• Determine what your boundaries are. First, you should set clear boundaries for communication. You and your spouse were once very close to one another and it can be easy for you to cross a boundary without even realizing it. Make it clear to yourself and to your spouse what those boundaries are, such as when you are available to talk and in what form (phone, text, email, etc.)
• Keep the children out of it. Since you have begun the divorce process, you have likely heard it a thousand times -- keep your children out of your affairs. If you have children, it is important that they know that you are getting a divorce, but they do not need to know every little detail of your divorce, nor do they need to be privy to any arguing or disagreements between you and your spouse.
• Consider hiring a mediator. In some cases, hiring a divorce mediator or other family specialist can help you effectively communicate with one another. The role of a mediator is to help keep you and your spouse on track when you have conversations, especially if you always seem to end up in an argument when you try to discuss something related to the divorce. A mediator can give you tools to guide yourself through your conversations.

Discuss Your Case With Our Elmhurst, IL Divorce Attorneys

Having good communication in a divorce is important if you are aiming to have a smooth and peaceful divorce. Without effective communication between you and your spouse, everyone’s tensions are higher, including your children's’ and other family members. At Weiss-Kunz & Oliver, LLC, we have experience dealing with many types of divorce cases, from extremely high-conflict cases to simple uncontested divorces. Contact our skilled DuPage County divorce lawyers today at 312-605-4041 for a consultation.