When you imagine getting divorced, you likely picture two spouses arguing in court under the watchful eye of a judge. Perhaps they cannot come to a decision about child custody, or maybe they are fighting over who will keep the family home. Movies and reality TV shows have sensationalized what divorce really looks like and what the legal process entails. While some divorces can lead to a screaming match in a courtroom, most divorce agreements are created by both spouses behind closed doors.

Most couples do not realize what the Illinois divorce process truly involves until they are thrown into the middle of it. Divorce is never easy, physically or emotionally, and the division of your family is bound to take a toll. While you may never be able to fully prepare yourself for the emotional challenges that will undoubtedly come with your ending marriage, having an understanding of what the legal process includes can make you feel more in control of a major life event that you likely never expected. 

Going through an Illinois divorce can be quite a lengthy process. First, you made the decision to part ways with your spouse, either mutually or on a more one-sided basis. You were then thrown into the legal process of creating your divorce agreement or having a judge make decisions for you. You likely discussed how your property will be divided, how much money one spouse will pay the other until you both get afloat, and which spouse will be the primary parent for your kids, if applicable. These are only three of the many areas that will be discussed throughout the legal process, and in many cases, it can take months, if not a year or more, to have all of the details nailed down.

Now that you and your spouse, or the court, have come to an agreement in all of the areas of your divorce, you may feel like you can finally breathe a sigh of relief. There will be no more attorney meetings, ongoing court dates, or uncomfortable conversations to have with your former spouse about the details of your impending divorce. While you may feel like you are finally over the large obstacle that is a divorce, there are still a number of considerations that must be made before your marriage is finally legally dissolved in the eyes of the law

If you and your spouse have decided to file for divorce, you have made it past the first hurdle in the process. Coming to the realization that divorce is best for you and your spouse is no easy task and it can often take months, or even years, of self-realization and difficult conversations with each other. Deciding to file for divorce creates a new relationship dynamic that you have likely never experienced. If you and your spouse have children, there are additional issues that need resolving, which can also further complicate matters. When looking ahead to the future, you may be on your own for the first time in years, including making crucial decisions regarding who will represent you throughout the legal process.

Coming to the realization that divorce is in your near future is no easy task. Going into your marriage, you likely did not even consider that divorce would be a possibility. Whether you have been married for a few years or a few decades, the pain that comes along with an ending relationship can be like no other. The emotional turmoil can be even greater for divorcing parents. Not only does the decision to divorce involve you and your spouse, but you also have to consider the implications that ending your marriage will have on your kids.

Rarely does anyone come to the conclusion of divorce lightly. Perhaps you have had a challenging relationship for years on end, and you are finally realizing that being apart might actually be better for everyone involved—children included. While watching your parents get divorced is undoubtedly difficult for kids of any age, seeing your parents happier as the dust settles can be an even more important lesson for children: Your happiness in life matters. While the early stages and legal process of your divorce will be challenging as a parent, with the following information in hand, you can enter into the process fully prepared for what is to come.

Many people have looked at sweet, elderly couples and romanticized their decades-long marriages, lamenting a social era that is often said to no longer exist. If you were to ask someone if they thought the divorce rate was increasing or decreasing in the United States, what do you think they would say? Many people would likely say the divorce rate has been increasing for years when in reality, it is the opposite. Data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) shows that the national divorce rate has decreased from a rate of four out of every 1,000 couples in 2000 to only 2.9 out of every 1,000 couples in 2018. Interestingly enough, when you look at the divorce rates for the different age groups, the groups whose divorce rates are growing the quickest are adults over the age of 50. In fact, the Pew Research Center reported that the divorce rate doubled for adults over the age of 50 and roughly tripled for adults over the age of 65 between 1990 and 2015.

When it comes down to it, divorce is an emotionally stressful process and will be difficult at any age. However, when you get a divorce later in life, there are certain issues that you should pay extra attention to that a younger person may not necessarily have as high on their list of priorities, such as retirement accounts and spousal support. Getting a divorce after the age of 50 also often means there are more property and/or debt issues that must be taken care of before the divorce can be settled. In many cases, a late-in-life divorce, or a “gray divorce,” as they have been dubbed, can become a headache of a legal mess that is best cleaned up by an Illinois divorce attorney who is knowledgeable in the issues that may present in a gray divorce.

Why Are Gray Divorces Becoming More Common?

There have been many theories as to why gray divorces have been increasing in rate in recent years. Many individuals who get divorced when they are over the age of 50 have been married for decades and in some cases, more than half of their lives. It can be hard for some people to grasp why a person would want to leave a relationship after so many years, but researchers have found a couple of common themes: