When it comes to divorce, a parent’s biggest concern is often with how their decision to end their marriage will impact their children. You have likely heard that divorce is a traumatizing experience that can ruin someone’s childhood, or maybe you are concerned that the divorce will sever you and your children’s relationship altogether. It is true that your divorce will be difficult to handle; after all, your kids have grown up in a two-parent household up to this point, but rarely is divorce as devastating to your children as you imagine that it will be. 

As a firm that has helped numerous families through their divorce, we have heard your concerns time and time again. All parents want the best for their kids, and sometimes they will sacrifice their own happiness in the process. If you have come to the realization that divorce is your next step, our attorneys are here to stand by your side. We have created a guide that outlines all you need to know about how you can help your child through your divorce, allowing you to do what is right for you while continuing to be an advocate for your children along the way. 

When you imagine a divorce, you likely picture two spouses screaming at each other in the center of a courtroom. The spouses cannot come to an agreement and neither spouse is willing to compromise, so the judge intervenes on their behalf and makes a decision that neither party is truly happy with. While these contentious types of divorces do occur, most divorce proceedings are much less dramatic than how they are depicted on TV. Before you begin the legal portion of your divorce, it is important to know your options and determine which type of divorce proceedings are best for you and your spouse. 

Analyzing Your Relationship

As much as you may not want to reminisce about your marriage or think about ending your union with your spouse, you will need to take time to consider the current state of your relationship before selecting which type of divorce you should pursue. The state of Illinois has a variety of options so that you can choose the one that works best for you. Can you and your spouse come to an agreement or do you struggle to find common ground? Are you each willing to compromise or are you both strong-headed? Is it necessary that you maintain an amicable relationship moving forward or will you be parting ways forever? By considering questions like these, you can better determine how well you can work together--or your inability to do so--which can greatly impact the types of divorce proceedings that you should consider.

Going through a divorce is never an easy task regardless of how you look at it or approach it. You may be second-guessing your decision and grieving the loss of your spouse, or you may find yourself in the middle of a legal battle. Even in an amicable divorce, the process can be emotionally devastating, and a contentious marriage can lead to months or even years spent arguing over legal decisions. The process becomes even more complex for spouses who are victims of an abusive relationship. The codependence that abusive relationships can create, along with the understanding that the marriage is unhealthy, can make the divorce even more confusing. The concerns can quickly escalate from “Am I doing the right thing?” to “Am I safe to file for divorce?”. For those in an abusive marriage, there are additional considerations that must be made in order to ensure that each spouse is safe and that the divorce agreement is fair to both spouses.

Identifying the Different Forms of Abuse

Many people who are in abusive relationships are unsure if what they are experiencing is truly considered abuse. While physical abuse can occur, there are other actions that are considered abusive behavior and that can keep people stuck in toxic relationships. The following are different forms of abuse and their warning signs:

All parents have certain rights when it comes to their children, including unmarried fathers. In the past, courts typically favored mothers when it came to divorce and child custody battles, but as parental roles have modernized, the Illinois court system now makes decisions in the best interests of the child. The court typically leans toward keeping both parents in the child’s life and maintaining their parent-child relationships, unless one proves to be a danger to the child in some way. 

As a parent, your ability to spend time with your child may seem like a given, rather than a legal right. While all parents are granted these rights at the child’s birth, they are only enforceable to those who are legally recognized as the child’s father. For unmarried fathers, the need to have your role as a father legally established may not seem urgent, though the failure to do so can actually lead to legal, financial, and emotional issues as time goes on. That is why it is important to understand what paternity means from a legal standpoint for both the child and his or her father. 

When you imagine getting divorced, you likely picture two spouses arguing in court under the watchful eye of a judge. Perhaps they cannot come to a decision about child custody, or maybe they are fighting over who will keep the family home. Movies and reality TV shows have sensationalized what divorce really looks like and what the legal process entails. While some divorces can lead to a screaming match in a courtroom, most divorce agreements are created by both spouses behind closed doors.

Most couples do not realize what the Illinois divorce process truly involves until they are thrown into the middle of it. Divorce is never easy, physically or emotionally, and the division of your family is bound to take a toll. While you may never be able to fully prepare yourself for the emotional challenges that will undoubtedly come with your ending marriage, having an understanding of what the legal process includes can make you feel more in control of a major life event that you likely never expected.