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IL divorce lawyerHaving a child puts everything into perspective. Instead of focusing on yourself, your goal is to make sure your children are happy, healthy, and grow up to be successful, well-adjusted adults. Many people falsely believe that the best situation for children is having two parents who are in a relationship with one another, but staying together for the kids can actually do more harm than getting a divorce.

Studies have shown that children who are subject to constant stress and conflict have more issues with anxiety, depression, anger, and social difficulties. However, there are also studies that show children whose parents divorced are actually well-adjusted and successful, suggesting there is a way you can help your children through divorce.

Helping Your Children Through the Process

If you are getting a divorce, you should be proactive about how you deal with the situation if you have children. Here are a few ways you can minimize the impact your divorce has on your children:

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IL divorce lawyerDivorcing with children is an entirely different situation than if you did not have children. Having children when you get a divorce means you have to deal with a different set of concerns and make even more decisions than if you did not have children. Parents often know how a divorce will affect themselves, but what they worry about is how the divorce will affect their children.

The effects that a divorce has on children manifests differently in each child. Some children may be minimally affected, while other children will have a harder time coping with the stress of the divorce. Getting a divorce does not mean that it will have lasting effects on your children, as long as you are able to help your children through the process. To do this, you must be able to recognize signs that your child is having difficulty coping.

Changes in Sleeping Patterns or Behaviors

When a child has difficulty handling stress in their lives, this can often manifest in a range of sleeping issues. Your child’s sleeping patterns may change. They may have difficulty getting to sleep or staying asleep. Younger children might regress to behaviors such as wetting the bed or wanting a pacifier. Night terrors are also common in younger children who cannot cope with stress. Older children may exhibit an increased need for sleep or they may not sleep enough.

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Illinois divorce attorney, Illinois family lawyer,All areas of divorce are difficult: The decision-making, the legal process, and adjusting to a new lifestyle. For couples without children, divorce is a life change that happens on an individual level. However, once children are involved, the ending of a marriage involves your own healing as well as your children’s emotions about the decision. Telling your children about the split is half the battle.

What Do I Say (and Not Say)?

The way you present the news is almost as important as what you say. The following tips provide help on what you should say to your children when having the difficult conversation and how you should say it.

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Illinois divorce attorney, Illinois family lawyer, Illinois parenting time lawyer,Many times, the first thing on a parent’s mind when they get a divorce is how it can affect their children. Many people have said that staying together for the children is better than getting a divorce. There have been numerous studies on how divorce affects children and their well being, but their have also been many studies on how unhappy marriages affect children. Most of these studies have concluded that while a divorce is difficult for many children, staying in an unhappy marriage can be even more detrimental for children’s well being. Many times, the decision to divorce or not to divorce is made based on the children’s best interests. Here are just a couple of ways that an unhappy marriage can affect your children.

Constant Stress and Tension

If you are in a marriage where you and your spouse fight a lot, your child is experiencing some of that stress and the tension that the fights create. It is natural for children to internalize their parents, but when they internalize all of their parents’ fighting and conflict, that can lead to emotional, physical and social ailments, like depression or chronic fatigue. Even if you try to hide the fighting, children are very receptive and can sense you and your spouse's unhappiness.

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