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DuPage County divorce lawyer for property division and child custodyDivorce is typically not something that most people want to think about. After all, many divorces do not end on a high note, and they can end up turning out to be one of the most stressful life events that people go through. Yet, divorces do take place, and life goes on, though several different aspects of a person’s life can be affected. Without proper preparation and guidance, a person’s social, emotional, financial, and mental health can be affected, along with their future well-being.

The fact of the matter is, there are things that you should and should not do when getting a divorce in Illinois. There are many mistakes that you can make during your divorce, but a knowledgeable Illinois divorce lawyer will be able to help you anticipate these errors and prevent them from being made. Here are a few common divorce mistakes you will want to avoid:

Choosing the Wrong Type of Divorce for Your Situation

Contrary to what many people may think, there is more than one way to get divorced from your spouse. When you think of the word divorce, you likely think of a litigated divorce, or a more “traditional” divorce in which disputes are resolved inside the courtroom. While this is still an option in Illinois, it is typically only used as a last resort or in situations with extenuating circumstances. The state of Illinois highly encourages you and your spouse to work together with one another to settle the issues pertaining to your divorce because the outcomes tend to be better. Both mediated and collaborative divorces offer benefits that a litigated divorce does not.

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IL divorce lawyerEveryone knows how much of an emotional and life-changing event a divorce can be. What many people do not realize is that getting a divorce can also have a major impact on your financial health too, both during and after the divorce. Many studies have been conducted and various groups of couples from many demographics and backgrounds have been observed to determine the differences in financial health before and after the divorce process. Though each divorce is going to be different because each couple’s situation is different, the general consensus is that divorce can majorly impact your finances and even lower your standard of living after everything is said and done.

Fortunately, this fact does not have to just be taken at face value. There are certain things that you can do to help protect your finances during your Illinois divorce, which will, in turn, help you protect your financial health after the divorce is over with and the decree is signed by the judge and both you and your spouse. Divorce can get complicated quickly, especially if there are complicated financial issues involved, which is why it is recommended that you hire an Illinois divorce lawyer to help you with the divorce process.

How Can Divorce Impact My Finances?

If you are not careful and make good decisions while you are going through your divorce, you could end up in a bad situation after the fact, though there may only be so much you can do. According to Bloomberg, divorce is going to lower your standard of living no matter what. However, your age when you get divorced and your gender both have an impact on how much your standard of living is affected after a divorce. Both men and women who divorce after the age of 50 will see their standard of living decrease much more than men and women who divorce when they are younger.

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IL divorce lawyerIt is a bittersweet and painful situation to be in when you make the personal decision to end your marriage. Once you have made the decision that you no longer want to be married to or in a relationship with your significant other, it is likely that there have been issues present in your marriage for months or even years that were never resolved. Even just working up the courage to finally bring up or ask for a divorce can be a huge step for some people.

There is almost always going to be some degree of resistance from the other spouse when the topic of divorce is brought up; this is one of the real-life situations that Hollywood actually gets right most times. Think of all of the films and television shows you have seen that involve a breakup or a divorce. Do you ever remember seeing a scene where one spouse says, “I think we should get a divorce,” while the other one responds, “Yes, I agree with you,” in a level-headed manner? The chances of that are slim to none.

In reality, the non-asking spouse is likely to put up some sort of resistance to the suggestion of divorce. However, not everyone reacts to this type of rejection in the same way. Contention from a spouse can manifest in a variety of ways, from typical sadness and reluctance to fighting tooth and nail and being difficult for the sake of being difficult. Whatever the situation, divorcing a contentious spouse can be an extremely draining process that affects the entire family and can even affect you even after the fact. Hiring a divorce attorney who is trained to handle high-conflict divorces can be extremely beneficial throughout your divorce.

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IL divorce lawyerIn the United States, divorce is not uncommon. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), an estimated 22 percent of marriages dissolve before they celebrate their fifth anniversary and that number increases by the 20-year mark when an estimated 53 percent of all first marriages have ended. People get divorced for all kinds of reasons, but whatever the reason, the divorce is still likely to be riddled with tension, stress, and emotion.

Even if you and your spouse communicated well during your marriage, things will likely be much different during the divorce process. A peaceful divorce is possible, but effective communication is key to making that work. Here are a few tips to help you improve your communication with your spouse during your Illinois divorce:

  • Determine what your boundaries are. First, you should set clear boundaries for communication. You and your spouse were once very close to one another and it can be easy for you to cross a boundary without even realizing it. Make it clear to yourself and to your spouse what those boundaries are, such as when you are available to talk and in what form (phone, text, email, etc.)
  • Keep the children out of it. Since you have begun the divorce process, you have likely heard it a thousand times -- keep your children out of your affairs. If you have children, it is important that they know that you are getting a divorce, but they do not need to know every little detail of your divorce, nor do they need to be privy to any arguing or disagreements between you and your spouse.
  • Consider hiring a mediator. In some cases, hiring a divorce mediator or other family specialist can help you effectively communicate with one another. The role of a mediator is to help keep you and your spouse on track when you have conversations, especially if you always seem to end up in an argument when you try to discuss something related to the divorce. A mediator can give you tools to guide yourself through your conversations.

Discuss Your Case With Our Elmhurst, IL Divorce Attorneys

Having good communication in a divorce is important if you are aiming to have a smooth and peaceful divorce. Without effective communication between you and your spouse, everyone’s tensions are higher, including your children's’ and other family members. At Weiss-Kunz & Oliver, LLC, we have experience dealing with many types of divorce cases, from extremely high-conflict cases to simple uncontested divorces. Contact our skilled DuPage County divorce lawyers today at 312-605-4041 for a consultation.

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IL divorce lawyerEnding a marriage is no easy decision, especially when you are a parent. As soon as you have children, your life is no longer about just you and you must also take into consideration how your actions will affect your child. Many parents put off the divorce and stay together for the kids in unhappy marriages in an effort to protect their children from the negative effects of divorce.

Studies have shown that it is not the divorce itself that leaves lasting effects on children, but rather, being exposed to their parents’ constant conflict was responsible for causing negative effects. There is no way to completely shield your child from your divorce, but understanding how your child might react to your divorce can help you prepare and guide them through the coping process.

Effects on Children

Each child is different and is going to react differently to divorce based on a variety of factors, but age and maturity level are two of the biggest factors affecting your child’s reactions. The age your child is when you get a divorce will also help you determine how you should help your child cope with the stress of the divorce. Here are the effects commonly observed in children of different age groups:

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