110 E. Schiller Street, Suite 320, Elmhurst, IL 60126

Weiss-Kunz & Oliver, LLC312-605-4041

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IL divorce lawyerWhen there is trouble in your marriage, you and your spouse have to work together to try to overcome the issues that you are experiencing. In some situations, both spouses may not be on the same page or willing to cooperate with one another. No matter the situation, making the decision to end the marriage involves tons of difficult and conflicting emotions. This conversation is likely going to be one of the most stressful and heartbreaking conversations you will ever have with your spouse. Here are a few things that you should keep in mind when you break the news of divorce to your spouse:

  1. Think before you make your decision. Before you tell your spouse that you want to get a divorce, you should make absolutely certain that this is what you want. Once you bring up the “D-word,” you cannot take it back. You should take your time to think your decision through before you say anything.
  2. Plan how you will break the news. Once you are certain that you want to get a divorce, you should begin thinking of how you should set up the conversation. Think about everything from what kind of mood they are in when you tell them to the location that you have the conversation. If you have children, you should ideally wait until there is a time that your children are not home.
  3. Be thoughtful of what you say. Next, you should give some thought to what you will say to your spouse and how you will say it. At this point, you have probably gone through a lot of stress and fighting with your spouse through the years. This conversation will not go any better if you use accusatory words such as “you should have,” or “you never.” Focus on how you and your spouse are unhappy and you think a divorce is the best idea.
  4. Be prepared for your spouse’s reactions. Your spouse’s reaction to the news of the divorce can be varied. Some people may be surprised by the news of their spouse wanting a divorce, but most people will usually know that something is not right in the relationship. Whatever the reaction to the news is, you should be prepared to stay focused and not get defensive.

Contact an Elmhurst, IL Divorce Lawyer

Making the decision to get a divorce does not come easy to most people. For many couples, months or even years of struggling, therapy and attempted reconciliation have preceded the divorce process. At Weiss-Kunz & Oliver, LLC, we can help you through every step of the divorce process, no matter which step you are currently at. To schedule a consultation with our skilled DuPage County divorce lawyers, call us at 312-605-4041.

 

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Il divorce lawyerFor many couples who are divorcing with children, much of the stress present during the divorce accumulates because of child-related issues. It can sometimes feel like you are fighting tooth and nail to ensure your children are getting what is best for them. The issue is that your spouse also thinks that he knows what is best for the children and most of the time, that idea does not line up entirely with yours. Most parents will have some sort of an argument or disagreement at some point during the process, but when the situation gets too out of hand, the judge might intervene and order you and your spouse to work with a parenting coordinator.

The Role of a Parenting Coordinator

A parenting coordinator, also known as a PC, is a highly-trained professional who helps parents that are separated or divorced settle their disputes about child-related issues. PCs are used in situations in which the parents of a child just cannot seem to get along or cooperate with one another. The PC’s main task is to help couples make decisions without having to make multiple court appearances. A PC may also:

  • Make recommendations to the court concerning approaches that are aimed at reducing the conflict between parents and stress on the children
  • Mediate disputes between parents
  • Recommend other resources such as psychotherapy, drug counseling and/or testing, or parenting classes
  • Serve as a line of communication between parents
  • Give the couple tools and practices to help facilitate healthy communication

When Would a Parenting Coordinator Be Appointed?

Most of the time, parenting coordinators are appointed to couples by a judge. Parents are permitted to hire a parenting coordinator of their own will, but both parents must be in agreement, making it a rare occurrence. A parenting coordinator is usually used as a last resort and is appointed if:

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IL divorce lawyerHaving a child puts everything into perspective. Instead of focusing on yourself, your goal is to make sure your children are happy, healthy, and grow up to be successful, well-adjusted adults. Many people falsely believe that the best situation for children is having two parents who are in a relationship with one another, but staying together for the kids can actually do more harm than getting a divorce.

Studies have shown that children who are subject to constant stress and conflict have more issues with anxiety, depression, anger, and social difficulties. However, there are also studies that show children whose parents divorced are actually well-adjusted and successful, suggesting there is a way you can help your children through divorce.

Helping Your Children Through the Process

If you are getting a divorce, you should be proactive about how you deal with the situation if you have children. Here are a few ways you can minimize the impact your divorce has on your children:

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IL divorce attorneyGetting a divorce has many ramifications, especially when it comes to familial relationships. Not only are you splitting up with your spouse, but you are also splitting up your family unit, which in many cases includes extended family such as grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. In many families, grandparents have a close relationship with their grandchildren, especially if they helped care for them. Unfortunately, divorce can bring out the worst in people and a parent can interfere with the relationship between the child and a grandparent for whatever reason. Illinois laws address this issue in the Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act.

Visitation Rights of Certain Non-Parents

The state of Illinois has recognized that extended family members often play a large role in a child’s life. In some families, grandparents take care of the children while the parents are at work. In other families, the child spends a significant amount of time with his or her step-parent. The law allows certain family members to petition for visitation or electronic communication when a parent “unreasonably” denies visitation or communication and the denial has caused undue mental, physical or emotional harm. These family members include:

  • Grandparents
  • Great-grandparents
  • Step-parents
  • Siblings
  • Step-siblings

Granting Visitation

If visitation for the child is contested, the court’s presumption is that the parent denying the visitation is acting in the child’s best interests. This means the burden to prove otherwise lies with the person who is petitioning for visitation. Typically, a judge will not grant visitation to a non-parent unless that person can demonstrate that the denial of visitation would cause harm to the child’s emotional, physical, or mental wellbeing.

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Illinois divorce attorney, Illinois family lawyer, Illinois parenting time and responsibilities lawyer,Divorce can be complicated on its own, but adding children into the mix can complicate things further. When you get a divorce and you and your ex have children together, you will almost always split decision-making responsibilities and parenting time with them if it is left to the courts to decide. The courts will encourage you and your ex to work together to create parenting plans, but in the event you and your spouse cannot work together, Illinois family courts will intervene and it will be left to a judge to determine what is in the best interests of the children. Sometimes, a parent may believe that what is best for their child is for the other parent to play no part in their life. In cases like these, will the court issue an order to restrict parenting time?

Petitioning the Court for Parenting Time Restrictions

In an effort to be fair to all parents, the court begins its determinations from a place of neutrality. The Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act (IMDMA) specifically states that “It is presumed that both parents are fit and the court shall not place any restrictions on parenting time…” If you believe that your ex should have parenting time restrictions, you must be able to prove to the court that spending time with your ex would endanger the physical, mental, moral or emotional health and well being of your children. If you wish to restrict your ex’s parenting time, you must petition the court for the restriction and attend a hearing.

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