For many couples who are divorcing with children, much of the stress present during the divorce accumulates because of child-related issues. It can sometimes feel like you are fighting tooth and nail to ensure your children are getting what is best for them. The issue is that your spouse also thinks that he knows what is best for the children and most of the time, that idea does not line up entirely with yours. Most parents will have some sort of an argument or disagreement at some point during the process, but when the situation gets too out of hand, the judge might intervene and order you and your spouse to work with a parenting coordinator.

The Role of a Parenting Coordinator

A parenting coordinator, also known as a PC, is a highly-trained professional who helps parents that are separated or divorced settle their disputes about child-related issues. PCs are used in situations in which the parents of a child just cannot seem to get along or cooperate with one another. The PC’s main task is to help couples make decisions without having to make multiple court appearances. A PC may also:

• Make recommendations to the court concerning approaches that are aimed at reducing the conflict between parents and stress on the children
• Mediate disputes between parents
• Recommend other resources such as psychotherapy, drug counseling and/or testing, or parenting classes
• Serve as a line of communication between parents
• Give the couple tools and practices to help facilitate healthy communication

When Would a Parenting Coordinator Be Appointed?

Most of the time, parenting coordinators are appointed to couples by a judge. Parents are permitted to hire a parenting coordinator of their own will, but both parents must be in agreement, making it a rare occurrence. A parenting coordinator is usually used as a last resort and is appointed if:

Coronavirus, or COVID-19, is on everyone’s minds these days. The World Health Organization (WHO) declared it a global pandemic, and President Trump recently declared a national emergency as the spread of the virus continues to expand across the country. The virus is thought to have originated in China, but it quickly spread to Europe and the United States. At the time of this writing, more than 198,000 people have been infected in more than 80 countries. Here in Illinois, Governor J.B. Pritzker ordered all restaurants and bars to close except for carryout orders. In addition, Illinois schools are closed until further notice, and health officials are urging citizens to avoid gatherings of 50 or more people. Many people are working from home now, and in some cases, workers have been temporarily laid off. Those who have pressing legal matters may be wondering what effect the virus will have on divorce or family law court cases. Read on to learn more about coronavirus, its impact on the Illinois court system, and how Weiss-Kunz & Oliver, LLC can assist you during this difficult time in our nation’s history.

Signs and Symptoms of COVID-19

It is imperative that anyone who is exhibiting signs of coronavirus seeks medical attention as soon as possible. In order to avoid serious or life-threatening complications, as well as potentially spreading the virus through human contact, those who have been exposed are advised to self-quarantine for 14 days.

Going through a divorce is physically, emotionally, and mentally challenging. Self-esteem may be low, emotions are often running high, and being almost, but not quite yet single, can be exciting. Although there is no Illinois law against dating during a divorce, it can add additional complications and legal issues for you and your new partner. Before you jump into a new relationship pre-divorce, here a few reasons as to why you should consider waiting until the ink is dry on your divorce papers:

1. Changes or elimination of spousal support or child support may occur. If the judge finds out you are living with your new partner, your spousal support may be affected. If you are the one receiving spousal support payments, the court may find that you no longer need the money because your new partner is supporting you. If you are receiving child support, the extra income coming into your household by your new partner could result in a decrease in your child support payments. If you are the one making spousal or child support payments, the court may find that you have more money available, and order you to pay more.  No matter what side of the coin you are on, your spousal or child support could take a hit.

2. You have children. Bringing your children around just anyone, especially in the midst of a divorce, is not an easy decision to make. Additionally, new relationships take time, and if you are focusing all your time on your new relationship, your children could notice and be affected by your distance.

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Divorce proceedings can get ugly very quickly, especially when children are involved. Rarely do child custody cases go as planned and both parents usually do not get the custody arrangement that they were hoping for. Regardless of the parents’ marital relationship, many couples get used to co-parenting and can find it difficult to have to “take time off” from parenting their kids. Things can become even more complicated if the parenting relationship is contentious.

What Situations Warrant Visitation?

In order for the court to require supervised visits between a parent and their child, a serious situation must have happened between the parent and child or the two parents. The bad blood between divorcing spouses may prompt one or both parents to try and seek full custody or supervised visitation requirements for the child’s other parent. In order for the court to take this request seriously, one of the following situations must be proven:

Time and time again, divorce lawyers are asked what, if anything, is the effect of infidelity on a divorce.  If my spouse is cheating, will I be compensated in the divorce?  If my husband is cheating, will he be punished in the divorce?  If my wife is having an affair, will I win custody?  Or, from the point of the view of the person in the relationship, if I am sleeping with someone else or in love with someone else, am I in trouble? Should I be afraid to ask for a divorce if I am the cheater?

The short answer to all of these concerns is that Illinois is a no fault divorce state.  That means the affair itself is not relevant.  For example, the maintenance statute indicates that maintenance is determined "without regard to marital misconduct."  Certainly there are minimal exceptions to this rule. Cohabitation is grounds for barring maintenance.  Further, if you are being supported by a paramour, that decreases your need for support.  But the affair, in itself, is not relevant.

The same is true for division of assets.  The Illinois statute on property distribution states in relevant part that a court "shall divide the marital property without regard to marital misconduct..."  Again, marital misconduct is excluded from a Court's determination of how to divide assets of a marriage.  If your husband or wife is sleeping with the neighbor, they are still entitled to the same portion of assets as they would receive if they were not cheating.